Tuesday 15 July 2008

Coff

We kitten, today I am in need of coffee, not because I'm knckered, but becuse I drank one sip of a cup before I had to leave for work, so I have half the taste in my mouth.

T'other week I was out jogging with Fiona, this you already know, and we were discussing how to prove that having my hair cut would remedy my singularity. She suggested I went to three gigs before having my hair cut, and note how much red hott lady lurve action I get, and then go to three gigs after my hair cut and compare.

Well, I've still one gig left to do post-scalping, but its not looking too.

Pre-haircut
Standing round conversation with two girls I've known for months from gigs and internet
Awkward eye contact with girl who I always make awkward eye contact with at gigs
Avoiding trying to chat to cute girl who had to sit next to me

Post-haircut
Standing round conversation with same two girls I've known for months from gigs and internet
Introduced to bloke off of the internet's girlfriend
Avoiding trying to chat to cute girl who sat next to me

I'm getting ahead of myself cos I still have one gig left to go to to complete the experiment, but its not looking too good. I should have negotiated some form of recompense from Fiona, possibly the cost of the hair cut or some kind of cheesecake.

Next gig should be either the Camera Obscura show at Kings College, or the WeePop Electrophonvintage show, both on Thursday. I'm going to have to do a spreadsheet to calculate which show has the greatest probability of benefit. Chesecake or self-esteem crushing girl-evasion.

Hmm, WeePop will have a greater proportion of people I know and feel comfortable with, but Camera Obscura will have an order of magnitude more people, and a greater proportion of folk I don't know. So at WeePop, there's more chance of chatting to people, but less chance of dryhumping against a wall down an alleyway, but at Camera Obscura there's less chance of chatting, but a greater chance of dryhumping against a wall down an alleyway. Hmm, then again, Camera Obscura is more likely to look like the Boo Radleys gig at the Academy in '95, which is a fertile image.

Alternatively, I've never seen Fiona make cheesecake before, or if she'd be inclined to make such a thing, but most of the food I've ever seen her produce has been quite nice. Curly Wurly cheesecake would be nice, or Dime Bar, maybe both, but that'd be crazy.

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