Suicide, work and suggestions

When I was a schoolie I knew a girl, a teenage girl who's self esteem was so low, she once regaled to me a story about how she was going to slash her wrists in the bath one day cos she dreaded getting in trouble the next morning for some homework she hadn't done. So cheap she felt was her life.

My job is quite frustrating. I'm never quite sure if I'm going to get in trouble for decisions I make. At any moment, something I did yesterday or last week could blow up. Some minor discrepencies slip by as the older guys know they always have done, and some minor thing becomes huge.

I've no confidence in my duties or the bits of paperwork I fill in. One manager will tell me how to do one thing, their manager says to do it another way, the assistant manager confides with me third way, and another manager tells me something different.

Like that girl many years ago. I'm ready to jack it all in the next time there's trouble.

Just quitting my job mind, not killing myself.

I really want to work for Richer Sounds and Audio Partnership. They're nearby, they do hi-fi which was my career until I was sucked into redundancy and sandwich manufacture. And they have a well respected employee suggestion scheme, one of the best in the country. On average, according to the internet, each employee makes twenty suggestions a year, and every suggestion is read by Julian Richer himself.

Me, I thrive on making suggestions and improvements for how to do my job. But these have been swatted down and knocked back repeatedly with my current employer.

The mentality in my department is that the job's not supposed to be easy so let's make it as difficult as possible.

I have a degree and an IQ of 140, and about 60% of my job is writing out in long hand exactly the same list of items that a) I wrote out the day before and b) the guy across from me has on a Purchase Order printout.

So yes, I'm applying for jobs elsewhere. Any suggestions, leave them in the comments, and offers, email me.